Question from a WordTruth.Com friend:

>>How do I make a guy fall in love with me?  And how do I make a guy stay and not leave me?
>>> 

WordTruth.Com Response:

I counsel you to focus on first becoming the godly woman that our LORD Jesus wants you to be (2 Corinthians 7:1; Ephesians 5:1-3; 1 Peter 3:3-5).  Try pursuing guys simply as a friend. Develop your relationship with him apart from the physical affection/attachment you seek.  If it is God's will for you two to be together, then He will make that clear to both of you.  If not, then you wouldn't want to disobey God...

Ideally, dating should be a time of getting to know the character of a person:  beliefs, attitudes, conduct, thoughtfulness, etc.  The Bible speaks of betrothal relationships (such as Joseph and Mary, c.f. Matthew 1:18) -- those pledged to be married -- but not a lot about dating as it exists in the United States.  A romantic relationship is serious and full of temptation.  So any questions that help you understand who the person really is would be important to ask.  Do not rush to "date" someone romantically.  Get to know a person of worthy character before you move into a romantic stage. 

A key question to ask is salvation status -- not just "Are you a Christian?" but maybe better would be "Help me understand your spiritual life -- if you were to die and God asked you 'Why should I let you into My Heaven, the home of righteousness where nothing impure will ever enter its gates?' what do you think you would say to Him?"  Many will say "I don't know" or "because I've tried to be a good person" but these answers reveal a lack of genuine conversion.  Anything short of "because I trusted in the LORD Jesus Christ who died for MY sins and rose from the grave" would be suspect.

Since we are on this subject, how would you answer this question?  If you are not certain that God will allow you into His heaven, then please settle this matter by putting your faith and trust in the LORD Jesus Christ (prayerfully read the Gospel of Jesus Christ at http://www.wordtruth.com/gospel.htm).  Having trusted in the LORD Jesus, you can be certain of His leadership in your life.  Jesus said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life" (John 8:12, NIV).

These days I would also want to know if the other person has been sexually active.  If so, I would be very cautious about entering into a dating relationship.  There are more than 30 sexually-transmitted diseases, many of which have no cure.  The Bible tells us to "Flee sexual immorality and pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace, along with those who call upon the LORD with a pure heart" (2 Tim. 2:22, NIV).

The point of a "dating" relationship is to move from "friends" to a more serious commitment to one another.  Part of the process is finding out if you are compatible and willing to commit yourselves to one another.  Don't worry if it does not last.  It is more important to break off from a relationship that lacks trust and commitment than to continue a half-hearted romance.

You need to be in touch with God's will for your life.  It is more important to pursue Christ in an intimate relationship, to become Christ-like yourself, than to date.  That is a hard thing to say but that is biblical.  God will bring people of character into your life as you pursue godliness and active service in His church.  Better to relax and enjoy His peace than to be consumed with anxiety about whether you will find "Mr. Right."  In fact, take a look at Matthew 19 and see the issues surrounding marriage and singleness.  It may be God's will that you remain single in order to serve more effectively in His kingdom.  "Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things [the needs in your life] will be given to you as well" (Matt. 6:33, NAS).

Quite often in our walk with Christ, we have to make choices between the good and the best.  Forsaking what is good for what is best is a much harder decision than simply saying "no" to unrighteousness.  Yet it is a sign of spiritual maturity. Perhaps God is using this as an opportunity for your growth.

May the God bless you with His wisdom and the courage to follow Jesus!

Rev. Randy Lariscy :-)
Director - WordTruth Ministries
 

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