He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother

"Blessed are the peacemakers," said Jesus Christ, "For they shall be called sons of God." (Matt. 5:9, NKJV). Those who pursue peace share this attribute of God Himself -- a peacemaker. God offers forgiveness and reconciliation to everyone through our LORD Jesus Christ. Why doesn't everyone experience His forgiveness? Why are not all people at peace with God if God is a peacemaker? We find insight into this question in the reunion story of Jacob and Esau.

Scripture Passage: Genesis 33:1-20
(use the BACK button in your browser to return to this lesson)

Main Thought: Peace is a choice that two parties make in response to God's work of preparing their hearts to offer and seek forgiveness.

God is at work in the reconciliation process so don't be afraid to go first.

God puts a premium on relationships so meet the person and work out the problem.

God has clearly communicated His desire for peace so clearly communicate your intentions to others.

God works to bring peace but remember it takes two to make and keep the peace.

(1) Now Jacob lifted his eyes and looked, and there, Esau was coming, and with him were four hundred men. So he divided the children among Leah, Rachel, and the two maidservants. (2) And he put the maidservants and their children in front, Leah and her children behind, and Rachel and Joseph last. (3) Then he crossed over before them and bowed himself to the ground seven times, until he came near to his brother. (Genesis 33:1-3 NKJV)

1. God is at work in the reconciliation process so don't be afraid to go first.

God has been drawing Jacob and Esau together for many years -- they just did not realize what He was doing. God was at work to bring peace between these two brothers according to His promise to Esau (Gen. 27:40) and in answer to Jacob's prayer for deliverance. (Gen. 32:9-12) As a result of God's work breaking Jacob's pride and deceitfulness, Jacob passed in front of his family. He trusted in God (32:26) and went first.

Let's take a look at some of the events God used in their lives to bring them together:
 

Key Events In Jacob's life

Key Events In Esau's life

Jacob taught all about God and His promised Savior. (Gen. 25-26) Jacob cheats Esau and receives the blessing of Abraham. (Gen. 27) Jacob sent to live with his Uncle Laban. (Gen. 28:1-7) Jacob vows to trust God at Bethel. (Gen. 28:10-22) Jacob endures unjust treatment by his Uncle. (Gen. 29-31) Jacob called by God to go home to Canaan. (Gen. 31:3;11-13) Jacob seeks and finds God's blessing. (Gen. 32) Jacob has to face his brother Esau who wanted to kill him. (Gen. 32-33) Jacob goes first before his family and humbles himself before Esau. (Gen. 33:1-3)

Esau taught all about God and His promised Savior. (Gen. 25-26) Esau was cheated out of his birthright and family blessing. (Gen. 25:29-34;27:1-35) Esau desires revenge through killing Jacob. (Gen. 27:41) Esau lives and prospers in Canaan. (Gen. 28:6-9;33:9) Esau conquers the Horites and lives in the mountains of Seir. (Gen. 36) Esau, over time, forgives his brother Jacob. (Implied by Gen. 33:4) Esau, seeing his brother, runs to meet Jacob. (Gen. 33:4)

God has called us to peace (Mark 9:50; 1 Cor. 7:15). Since God desires peace in your heart, He will surely not rest until He brings about that peace. The Bible says He has given us peace with Himself through our Lord Jesus Christ (Romans 5:1). Having believed in the LORD Jesus Christ, we find that part of the fruit of the Holy Spirit who is at work inside us is peace (Gal. 5:22-23). God desires that you have this peace inside your heart. It is one way we experience the fullness of God's presence. It is what He has called you to experience.

Do you experience peace inside? Perhaps you, like Jacob, have some broken relationships that need to be mended. Since God wants you to have peace inside, you can be sure, then, that God will be at work in you to seek peace in your relationships with others. Nowhere is this more true than in your own family. Peace, though it is a gift from our LORD Jesus Christ (John 14:27), will elude you if you do not live in peace with the significant others in your life (2 Cor. 13:11; Phil. 4:9).

Remember when you purpose in your heart to pursue peace in your relationships that God is at the heart of it. He wants peace more than you do. Remember that He is at work to bring it about. He will work in your heart and in the hearts of those with whom you desire to be reconciled. So, don't be afraid -- go first, following the example of Jacob.

But Esau ran to meet him, and embraced him, and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept. (Genesis 33:4, NKJV)

2. God puts a premium on relationships so meet the person and work out the problem.

This big red, hairy animal of a man now had a soft heart for the one hunted to kill in his childhood. Esau ran to Jacob. He didn't wait for Jacob to apologize, to placate his ego. Esau ran to Jacob and gave him, no doubt, a "bear hug." He was so overjoyed to see Jacob and so unconcerned about the previous offense that he broke down in tears. So did Jacob.

Have you ever thought about some of the things your brother or sister did to you when you were growing up? I remember my sister and her friends playing dress-up one time. They had me dress up -- in a dress! At age 6, there I was standing in front of the house in a dress, a woman's hat, and a purse. I know this because (a) I remember it and (b) she took a picture of it. She still has this picture and can take it out whenever she wants to embarrass me. Yes, I can think of many things my sister did to me that I would like to undo! If I dwell on these things, I will surely get angry with my sister. If I continue in that anger, I might strain or even break off my relationship with my only sister.

God puts a premium on relationships. He wants us to live in peace with one another. In fact, He has given us a peacemaking mission:

To pursue peace with one another in the body of Christ (Rom. 14:17-19;1 Cor. 14:33; 2 Cor. 13:11; Eph. 4:3).

To pursue peace with all people as much as it depends on us (Rom. 12:18; Heb. 12:14).

To seek peace with the world through the gospel which alone brings peace (Rom. 10:15).

To undertake a ministry of reconciling the world to God through Jesus Christ (2 Cor. 5:18-20).

This mission is so important that Jesus Christ told us: "Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift" (Mat 5:23-24 NKJV). More than one Southern Baptist preacher has noted that a Southern Baptist would never have said it like that. It would have been something like, "Since your here, go ahead and put the offering in the plate. We'll take care of the money and you go take care of business with your brother." Yet, Jesus emphasizes that being at peace with your brother is even more important than giving your offering to God for His work through the local church.

Many times we fail to seek peace with one another because we elevate the problem to a higher level of importance than the person involved. We decide that as long as the problem is there, we will not have anything to do with the other person. Of course, the problem will not go away until we confront the other person and work through the problem. Do you see a problem here? The LORD wants you to reconcile so put the problem at a lower level of importance than your relationship. Meet the person and work out the problem.

(8) Then Esau said, "What do you mean by all this company which I met?" And he said, "These are to find favor in the sight of my lord." (9) But Esau said, "I have enough, my brother; keep what you have for yourself." (10) And Jacob said, "No, please, if I have now found favor in your sight, then receive my present from my hand, inasmuch as I have seen your face as though I had seen the face of God, and you were pleased with me. (11) "Please, take my blessing that is brought to you, because God has dealt graciously with me, and because I have enough." So he urged him, and he took it. (Genesis 33:8-11 NKJV)

3. God has clearly communicated His desire for peace so clearly communicate your intentions to others.

Jacob was very careful to make himself understood before Esau. He had one goal in mind -- "...to find favor in the sight of my lord." Jacob even bowed seven times before saying anything to Esau (Gen. 33:3). This was a practice used by visiting kings who approached the pharaoh of Egypt. It recognized the great power and authority of another. It indicated great humility in the person who bowed. It was a very formal and cautious way to show respect to another. Jacob wanted to communicate clearly his respect for Esau and his purpose in meeting.

In the movie "Liar, Liar," Jim Carrey plays a lawyer who has a strained relationship with his son because of so many broken promises. At school, the children had to tell what their parents did to support the family. "My dad is a liar," said the boy. "You mean a lawyer?" asked the teacher. "Yes," snapped the boy, "that's what I said, a liar!" The movie continued with a wish his son made that for 24 hours his dad would have to tell the truth, no matter what. You can imagine the chaos this caused the dad as he told clients, judges, police officers, and complete strangers exactly what was on his mind.

It would be bad enough to be brutally honest with someone who was a stranger. But in an already strained relationship, inappropriate words will surely make matters worse. Motive, tone, and word choice need to be crystal clear. Some interesting notes about the word choice that Jacob made in this dialog with Esau:

Jacob says he knew that Esau had forgiven him for he saw his face as the face of God. More than just a nice expression, these were practically the same words he used after gaining the blessing from God face to face at Peniel (Gen. 32:30).

Jacob first calls his gift an offering or present (Hebrew "minchah") inverse 10. Next (verse 11), Jacob calls his gift a blessing (Hebrew "berakah")-- the same word used for the blessing God gave to Abraham (Gen. 12:2) and the blessing Jacob stole from Esau (Gen. 27:35-36). Now, Jacob was granting Esau a blessing. Esau would have surely understood the significance of Jacob's offering through this particular word choice.

In a peculiar place where English translation hides the meaning, Esau says he has enough (Hebrew "rab") which means plenty. Jacob says he has enough (Hebrew "kol") which means everything! Jacob has the blessing of peace with God and now gives to Esau that they might enjoy that same peace.

(12) Then Esau said, "Let us take our journey; let us go, and I will go before you." (13) But Jacob said to him, "My lord knows that the children are weak, and the flocks and herds which are nursing are with me. And if the men should drive them hard one day, all the flock will die. (14) "Please let my lord go on ahead before his servant. I will lead on slowly at a pace which the livestock that go before me, and the children, are able to endure, until I come to my lord in Seir." (15) And Esau said, "Now let me leave with you some of the people who are with me." But he said, "What need is there? Let me find favor in the sight of my lord." (16) So Esau returned that day on his way to Seir. (17) And Jacob journeyed to Succoth, built himself a house, and made booths for his livestock. Therefore the name of the place is called Succoth. (Genesis 33:12-17, NKJV)

4. God works to bring peace but remember it takes two to make and keep the peace.

Jacob and Esau made peace because they both sought peace with one another. Yet, we find them going in opposite directions here. Esau went South Southeast of the Dead Sea to the mountains called Seir. Jacob journeyed west to Succoth and later bought a parcel of land near Shalem, a city in Shechem (north central Palestine). Interestingly, the city's name means "complete" or "whole" or "peace." This indicates Jacob's restless wandering apart from the Promised Land was over for now. He was at peace with his brother. Why, then, did Jacob not go with Esau?

The Bible tells us, "If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men" (Rom 12:18 NKJV). Jacob and Esau were completely different in personality and temperament. To try to live together in such a state is a formula for conflict. Both had large families and possessions. They could not live peaceably together. Jacob wisely chose to move on rather than go with Esau.

It takes two people to make and keep the peace in any relationship. Never forget this. It is up to you to do all you can knowing God is at work in all circumstances. Yet, each person still has the God-given right to choose to forgive or not to forgive, to seek peace or not to stay apart. You cannot change another person's heart -- only God can. And you cannot force someone to make peace with you -- not even God will override a person's will in this manner. But God has a way with people. He understands the deep truths within us better than we do (Jer. 17:9-10).

Reflect on YOUR life: If you have done all you can do and the reconciliation process fails to bring peace, then what else can you do? Demonstrate love from a pure heart and keep praying for that person. God is at work, He wants the problems resolved, and He will continue to work to bring peace.

For the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking [about trivial disputes], but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. For he who serves Christ in these things is acceptable to God and approved by men. Therefore let us pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another. (Rom 14:17-19 NKJV)

 
 

Our Creator God loves you and wants you to know Him! If you would like to contact this ministry for further information or questions, please send your e-mail to:
Email: ministryrequest1@WordTruth.Com
Web Site: WordTruth.Com

Copyright 11/10/2001, Randy Lariscy.