What is needed to successfully manage conflict?

Dr. Wise has provided five conditions which he feels are necessary for success in managing conflict.¹  Each of these conditions is supported by one or more of the steps in managing conflict (see Steps to Successfully Manage Conflict).  Each of these conditions will be described and related to the associated conflict management steps.
 

1. Provide a personal and psychological base

One of the important ways to bring sanity to a tense conflict situation is to establish a structure for working through the problems.  Each of the participants must understand his or her role in the resolution of the conflict.  The process for conflict definition and resolution must be clearly established and explained to each participant.  This provides a firm base for the participants depend upon in working out their differences.

This condition is supported strongly by the first three steps in managing conflicts.  First, recognizing the problem means the problem itself is defined.  This offers participants the opportunity to see if there really are substantive differences in their positions.  The second step encourages the use of outside assistance in mediating the dispute.  This option puts more formality, structure and, most importantly, objectivity into a conflict that might otherwise be missing.  Finally, the third step involves empowering individuals in the conflict management process.  Agreeing on ground rules puts a structure in place for each person to be heard without retribution.  Recognizing the feelings and emotions going on during the conflict prevents participants from feeling oppressed or stifled.  These actions provide a good start in working the conflict.
 

2. Provide a relational base

Each person in the conflict needs to be able to relate to the other parties as people not problems.  There must be some degree of respect for the other people in order for trust to be developed.  Without trust, chances of a lasting resolution to the conflict are slim.  People can agree to disagree agreeably.  Harsh, antagonistic words are unnecessary and can be agreed to be eliminated by each party.

Step one of the conflict management steps seeks to focus the conflict on the issues and interests rather than on personalities.  Step three involves the mediator of the conflict working individually with key players to establish a relationship.  Step four supports a relational base to the conflict by striving toward open communications and active listening skills.  Step six enforces the resolution of the conflict by an explicit covenant forged to bond all parties to the agreement.  This drives the parties toward the common goal and encourages a bond that will last.  Celebrating together afterwards emphasizes the importance of the relationships.
 

3. Establish constructive communication

Many conflict situations degenerate rather quickly into sniping, name-calling, lying, and other destructive ways of communicating.  A critical condition for success in conflict management is encouraging and establishing truthful and sensitive communication.  Participants in conflict are usually in an emotionally charged situation.  Words must be true to the facts but must also soft on people, showing respect in spite of the disagreement.

The ground rules of step three, if enforced, go a long way toward providing an appropriate forum for constructive dialogue.  Step four encourages participants to seek to be understood first.  This forces one to truly listen to the other party before laying out his own position.  Factual information is more easily gleaned when participants are allowed the chance to speak calmly without the fear of interruption.

4. Co-labor together

An attitude that says, “We have a problem so let us get to the task of resolving it together” has a profound impact on the tension level of a conflict.  People who agree to work together for a mutually satisfactory solution stand a much better chance of gaining a lasting resolution.  The difficulty in attaining this condition is how.

Step five specifically addresses ways to attain a condition of collaboration in the conflict.  Participants are encouraged to seek the LORD together.  It is difficult for participants to confront the LORD in prayer about a situation while maintaining an intractable, angry stance toward the people involved.  Emphasizing common ground between the parties, focusing on problem-solving and issues rather than each other, and generating many options helps to transform the attitude of co-laboring together into a reality.
 

5. Personal agreement to the solution

Parties who leave the negotiation stage of a conflict must abide by the terms and conditions of the agreement.  The agreements must be detailed enough to prevent either party from either willfully or inadvertently breaking the contract.  Resolution depends on each party agreeing at the negotiating table and carrying it out afterwards.

Step six encourages as formal a covenant as seems necessary to ensure understanding by each party of its roles and responsibilities.  This is critical for the participants to honestly attempt to abide by the agreement.  It also carries with it the concept of honor.  Participants agreeing formally to a covenant may find a greater moral obligation to abide by the terms than in a less formal acknowledgment.

These conditions, while no guarantee of success, are usually found in successfully resolved conflicts.  Establishing these conditions will go a long way toward effective management of a conflict.
 

End Notes

1. Wise, Terry Dr. Managing Conflict. Trinity College and Seminary. Course cassette 8.

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Copyright 6/4/2001, Randy Lariscy.