Conflict Case Study #5
It's My Church Not Yours, Pastor!
"Congratulations! You were unanimously voted in as our new pastor..." said the Chairman of the deacons, "Now here is what I want you to accomplish over the next year." Bob proceeds to direct your every ministry decision in the church. No matter what idea you bring to the deacon board, Bob is against it. In fact, after only a few months it appears that Bob does not like you at all. Your every sermon is criticized. Your leadership style is questioned. Your motives and attitude are challenged not matter how sincere you are. Bob is disrupting your ministry programs and creating difficulties working with others in the congregation.
Assessment of Issues:
It is time to dust off the old resume! Here we have a classic situation in the local church where one person (or many times one family) has a major influence on what happens at the church. Bob may be one of those people who greets the new pastor with “I was a charter member of this church. I was here long before you were and I’ll be here when you leave.” The basic issue is one of control -- Bob wants it even though he needs to submit to the authority of the pastor.One thing to consider as a possible issue is style. Bob may not like my style as pastor. He may resent the way in which I develop and announce new ideas, programs, or events in the church. So it may be that my style, not the substance of what I am promoting, is at the heart of the conflict. Or it could be that style is a part of the more central issue of control.
Strategy for Managing Conflict:
This is a tough conflict to resolve amicably. Bob may well be entrenched with many friends in the church. He may have a long-standing history of aggressive control. Many people in the church may have been pushed for so long that now they just let Bob do what he wants. As pastor, I would have to make a decision to exercise authority commensurate with my position knowing full well that it could cost me my position as pastor. I would also have to work at modifying my style as necessary to meet the leadership needs of the board and congregation.There are several steps I would take to manage this conflict. I believe the guidelines in Matthew 18:15-20 are appropriate in this situation. Bob is actively and publicly denigrating my authority and leadership in the church. This would require a private meeting with Bob to discuss our differences. I would first ask him if there is anything that I have done to offend him (since this case study implies I do not know this). If Bob has real grievances, I would seek to rectify these things first. This would demonstrate to Bob my own willingness to change and encourage him to do the same.
Second, I would discuss his continual opposition to my leadership in the church. It is one thing to disagree with someone or simply not like someone. It is another thing altogether to publicly oppose and undermine the work of another believer -- in particular the pastor of a church. I would review with him, if he was willing, the Scriptural role of a pastor (1 Tim 3:1-7; Titus 1:5-9; 1 Pet 5:1-4), the need for support of and submission to the pastor (1 Cor 16:15-16; Eph 5:21; 1 Tim 2:1-4; 1 Tim 5:19-20; 1 Thess 5:12-13; Hebrews 13:17; James 3:17-18), the role and work of the deacon body (1 Tim. 3:8-13; also Acts 5), and the requirement for unity in the body of Christ (John 17:23; Rom 15:5-7; 1 Cor 1:10-11, 12:11-27; Eph 4:1-6, 11-16; Phil 2:1-5; Col 3:12-16). I would then discuss with him, in light of these Scripture passages, how his behavior can be defended. Since believers are encouraged to “speak the truth in love" (Eph 4:15), I would encourage Bob to discuss my motives, abilities, and right to leadership in private rather than in public.
If Bob is willing to acknowledge his sinful behavior and seek forgiveness, then I have won him over with the truth. This would allow a constructive dialogue about the issues Bob feels strongly about. The dialogue could focus on the substantive issues without the personal attacks on my motives or abilities. Perhaps my abilities are not up to Bob’s standard. He may have had such a dynamic, forceful pastor in the past that no one else will ever measure up. Perhaps Bob just has a different opinion about how things should be done. This is where we would have to work out a method of discussing, debating, and disagreeing agreeably. We could decide to challenge each other, in a Christ-like manner, but agree to always remain friends. This would provide a productive climate for exchange at future church functions. It would also provide a wonderful testimony for the congregation to the power of grace and forgiveness.
If Bob blows up and accuses me of further impugned motives, then I would discuss the matter with other spiritually mature members of the leadership board. If they took issue with Bob’s behavior as I did, then together we would meet privately with Bob to discuss it. Bob may or may not be willing to meet at this point. If he met with us, he may not listen. As I understand Matthew 18, my concern is to obey the teaching of our Lord whether the outcome is favorable or not. So if Bob will not listen to the plea for unity in the Spirit and submission to spiritual authority, the only recourse is to take it to the church body.
I must say that this is a good plan in theory but is likely to be scuttled if Bob has many strong supporters in the church. They may choose to side with him even though he is in the wrong. Many twists and turns are likely to happen because people act on emotions rather than logic in situations like this. Such a congregation desperately needs a pastor who will stick to the truth of God’s word in spite of the cost. Sadly, these are the congregations who tend to “solve their problem” by getting rid of the pastor. This, of course, only postpones the problem for a short while. I have to believe that God will honor the man or woman who sticks to godly principles in spite of the circumstances or outcome.
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Web Site: WordTruth.ComCopyright 6/18/2001, Randy Lariscy.
