Conflict Case Study #4

Young Verse Old

Lately, the ministers on staff at a church were arguing about almost everything.  The younger ministers wanted to "move forward" with new styles of ministry, namely a contemporary worship service.  The more established and older ministers wanted to keep the traditional service alive, something "no other church in the area was doing."  The younger ministers did not respect the ministry approach of the older ministers, feeling they were unwilling to try new approaches to reach people for Christ.  The older ministers saw the younger ministers as naive and compromising the gospel of Jesus Christ.  Few needed decisions were being made in the church.
 

Assessment of Issues:

There is a basic conflict in this church over methods and, perhaps, values between the older and younger crowds.  From the description, it does not appear that the basic goals of the church are at issue.  Though they “disagreed over just about everything”, it sounds as if the approaches the church is using to meet those goals are at the heart of the conflict.  The older crowd wants to stick with what has worked in the past.  The younger crowd wants to try new things.  Somehow, the two opposing camps must learn to respect each other’s views, listen, and integrate their thinking into a cohesive strategy combining the best of both worlds.
 

Strategy for Managing Conflict:

I would deal with this conflict by leading them toward a collaborative approach to defining the mission and strategies of the church.  They are dividing by faction rather than uniting for action.  They must understand the destructive nature of this conflict and its ultimate outcome -- a church split.  They must be confronted with the sinfulness of these factions.  This is one issue Paul specifically addressed with the church at Corinth:

For I am afraid that when I come I may not find you as I want you to be, and you may not find me as you want me to be. I fear that there may be quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, factions, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder (2 Cor 12:20 NIV).

So the leadership of this church must prayerfully consider why they are participating in this function.  Is it to get their own way?  Or is it to work with others called to understand God’s vision for their church?  I believe this is where the conviction of the Holy Spirit will begin to break through.  The true believers in this group, and I would assume that most of the leadership in this church consists of true believers, will listen to biblical authority and repent of this behavior.  If this is not achieved, I am not sure that any approach would really make a difference.  Fisher, Ury, and Patton would argue that the “Getting to Yes” method would bring this group to a wise agreement.  But without leaders committed to God’s way as opposed to their own, the wise agreement would be useless.  The commitment of each person on the leadership team to unity in the Spirit by following our Lord Jesus Christ must be gained first.

This means that relationships will probably have to be mended before proceeding further.  I would take the role of a conciliator at this point to help the group through this process.  Relationships must be restored before any positive change to their meeting behavior can be expected.

With relationships in the mending stages, another important mind-set that needs to be established is that a group will always have people of different opinions.  This is a good thing.  As a former Sunday School teacher used to say, “If two of you are the same on everything, then one of you is unnecessary.”  It is a leap from getting “feathers ruffled” because someone disagrees with you to appreciating the opposing view because it challenges your thinking.  In the end, a group with people of many opinions can create a much better outcome if they are driven to consensus while listening objectively to opposing views.  Can this group make this leap?  If the end goals are the same, then I believe most of the leadership could be persuaded to take this point of view.  If the end goals of the old and young factions are indeed different, then the church may face a serious split.

At this point, meaningful dialogue can take place among the group.  Structured discussions with ground rules and, perhaps, a facilitator would be a good idea to prevent the personal attacks on each other and focus on the mission and strategies.  An interesting technique might be to use assigned seating for all meetings.  A person from each group should sit next to someone from the other so that there is no “us versus them” orientation.  I  would encourage each participant to speak for himself, ask for input and criticism regarding his idea, and the use of active listening techniques (such as the “four R” method from Donohue and Kolt’s book “Managing Interpersonal Conflict”).  It is amazing to me how just a little bit of structure in a meeting helps people feel better about the outcome.

I suppose there will always be some conflict between the older and younger generations.  The strategies and recommendations I have made here are aimed at helping these two groups understand one another, respect their right to their point of view, and work together to achieve consensus.  Learning to disagree agreeably is not an easy task, nor is it quick, but in the end it will be satisfying to everyone involved.
 

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Copyright 6/18/2001, Randy Lariscy.