How do you handle criticism, especially from "problem" people?

My first reaction to criticism, like most people, is a feeling of hurt followed by anger.  These feelings are natural but must be carefully controlled.  Criticism may be right on target.  Then again, it may be mean and unjust.  I usually try to listen to whatever the criticism may be and introspectively assess its validity.  If I am wrong, I usually admit it.  If I have offended someone, I will go to that person privately to seek forgiveness and reconciliation.  Basically, when the criticism is valid, I try to do everything I can to rectify the situation.  This is difficult because many times it means I must change my behavior.

Unjust criticism is a different issue.  Over the years I have learned that some people simply will not like me no matter what I do.  Some people will be mean, unfair, low-down, and fight dirty.  To these people, I try to minimize their potential to hurt others in the process of hurting me.  For I know that my life is hidden with Christ (Colossians 3:3), that He endured the cross not only for my sins but for every one committed against me (1 Peter 3:18), and that God is just and will one day right all the wrongs by exercising perfect justice (Hebrews 9:27).  God is going to deal with the wicked in His time.  Being confident of this, I am freed to forgive those who hurt me.

Dealing with problem people who continue criticize, complain, or rebel against me is a current issue on my job.  I am responsible for certain computer systems and the standards which, if adhered to, assure the integrity and reliability of corporate databases.  One group has continued to reject the standard.  They continue to protest its validity and usefulness.  The difficulty I have had is that after each of four meetings, I thought the issue had been put to bed.  The opposing group acknowledged that they would use the standard.  In all this I have attempted to explain how our company adopted this standard, how it actually works, and the benefits of using it.  While I have listened to their alternatives, I have vigorously upheld the standard.

What I find difficult with problem people, though, is to remain calm and detach the people from the problem.  Persistent rebellion easily leads one to become cynical about the people, their motives, and every action they take.  I constantly strive to remember I am an ambassador for Christ (2 Cor. 5:20) and a minister of reconciliation (2 Cor. 5:18).  I must work on nurturing relationships in the midst of dispute.
 

Our Creator God loves you and wants you to know Him! If you would like to contact this ministry for further information or questions, please send your e-mail to:
Email: ministryrequest1@WordTruth.Com
Web Site: WordTruth.Com

Copyright 6/4/2001, Randy Lariscy.