Question from a friend of WordTruth Press:
>>> I have several questions about dating...
WordTruth Press Response:
1. What are the main important questions I should ask a guy who is
interested in dating me?
How about "Why do you want to go out with me?" Ideally, dating should
be a time of getting to know the character of a person: beliefs,
attitudes, conduct, thoughtfulness, etc. The Bible speaks of betrothal
relationships -- those pledged to be married -- but not a lot about dating
as it exists in the United States. A romantic relationship is serious
and full of temptation. So any questions that help you understand
who the person really is would be important to ask. Do not rush to
"date" someone romantically. Get to know a person of worthy character
before you move into a romantic stage.
A key question to ask is salvation status -- not just "Are you a Christian?"
but maybe better would be "Help me understand your spiritual life -- if
you were to die and God asked you 'Why should I let you into My Heaven,
the home of righteousness where nothing impure will ever enter its gates?'
what do you think you would say to Him?" Many will say "I don't know"
or "because I've tried to be a good person" but these answers reveal a
lack of genuine conversion. Anything short of "because I trusted
in the LORD Jesus Christ who died for MY sins and rose from the grave"
would be suspect.
These days I would also want to know if the other person has been sexually
active. If so, I would be very cautious about entering into a dating
relationship. There are are 30 sexually-transmitted diseases, many
of which have no cure. The Bible tells us to "Flee
sexual immorality and pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace, along with
those who call upon the LORD with a pure heart" (2 Tim. 2:22, NIV).
2. What are the questions I should ask so I know this relationship
might last if we do start dating?
Why do you suppose a dating relationship should last? After all, the
point of a "dating" relationship is to move from "friends" to a more serious
commitment to one another. Part of the process is finding out if
you are compatible and willing to commit yourselves to one another.
Don't worry if it does not last. It is more important to break off
from a relationship that lacks trust and commitment than to continue a
half-hearted romance.
3. What kind of things I should be aware of?
You need to be aware of God's will for your life. It is more important
to pursue Christ in an intimate relationship, to become Christ-like yourself,
than to date. That is a hard thing to say but that is biblical.
God will bring people of character into your life as you pursue godliness
and active service in His church. Better to relax and enjoy His peace
than to be consumed with anxiety about whether you will find "Mr. Right."
In fact, take a look at Matthew 19 and see the issues surrounding marriage
and singleness. It may be God's will that you remain single in order
to serve more effectively in His kingdom. "Seek
first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things [the needs
in your life] will be given to you as well" (Matt. 6:33, NAS).
4. I know some guys might lie to me to make me become interested
in him ... so how exactly would I know if he is lying to me?
Jesus told His disciples, "be
shrewd as serpents, and innocent as doves" (Matt. 10:16, NAS).
You may not know right away if someone is lying to you. Be aware
of contradictions and inconsistencies in things the person tells you.
Call him to give an account. Those who are meek may get perturbed
but will explain clearly. Those who are proud will just get angry
at you for asking. Also, Jesus told us of those who deceive, "you
will know them by their fruits" (Matt. 7:20, NAS).
In other words, look at the outcome of their life -- not the material things
but their character and strong, loving relationships -- to see whether
they are telling the truth.
May God bless you with His wisdom and the courage to follow Jesus!
Randy Lariscy :-)
President - WordTruth Press℠
© Copyright 6/4/2002, Randy Lariscy.
