Question from a friend of WordTruth Press:
>> I have committed my life to Jesus Christ. I want to make my marriage
work but my husband is unresponsive. He will not take me out anymore but
spends money fixing up his car. I am trying so hard but getting burned
out in this one-way relationship. What do I do?
WordTruth Press Response:
I do not have all the answers for you but I do know the One who does: Jesus
Christ our LORD. If people in your life can not be trusted, remember
that you can still trust in the LORD. He is our Rock and our refuge
(Deuteronomy 32:4). "The
eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms" (Deuteronomy
33:27, NIV).
It appears from your email below that you are a believer in Christ but
your husband is not. I applaud your earnest desire to love him and make
the marriage work. My wife and I have been married for over twenty years
and it does take work from all parties involved -- you, your spouse, and
the LORD. When you have a spouse that is not a believer, it changes the
dynamics of the marriage but not the purpose. Gen. 2:24 provides
the central purpose of marriage: to become one flesh. This constitutes
the joining together of the total person, not just the physical joining.
The two covenant together through their marriage vows to love each other,
give themselves to the task of meeting each others needs, and building
a home together.
As a Christian, you have first committed your life to the LORD Jesus
Christ. Know that He is the King, He is completely in control of
your life, and nothing will ever happen that does not first pass through
the filter of His love for you. Whatever happens, Jesus said, "I
will never leave you nor forsake you" (Heb. 13:5, NIV).
Whenever you FEEL alone, remind yourself of Jesus' presence -- He promised
and does not lie.
Since He is the King, make it a point to be sure that you follow Him.
His promise to us is this: "Seek
first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be added
to you as well" (Matthew 6:33, NKJV). In this
Scripture passage, Jesus was referring to the necessities of life -- food,
shelter, clothing, etc. When you are tempted to fret about not having what
you need, remember that God has promised to meet your needs as you follow
Jesus. Wait on His perfect timing and God will be glorified in your life.
Now, be sure you are fulfilling your responsibilities to your husband.
I would ask you to prayerfully read through the following Scripture passages:
-
Ephesians 5:21-33 (note wives are to respect their husbands as the head
of the family...not a dictator but a leader responsible to the LORD)
-
1 Peter 3:1-7 (note the teaching on the believing wife and unbelieving
husband in verse 1)
-
1 Corinthians 7:1-16 (responsibility of husband for the wife and vice versa)
Your question may come: what if he does not respond to my love for
him? Keep on loving him for Christ's sake. Jesus Christ never gives up
on you. When you love your husband, giving him the respect due him as the
leader in your family, you please Christ. Make that your goal in all of
life: "whatever
you do, do it heartily, as to the LORD and not to men, knowing that from
the LORD you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve
the LORD Christ" (Colossians 3:23-24, NKJV).
You do not know how long you may go before you husband responds. There
is no guarantee he will respond. But many people who are deeply loved will
respond in love eventually. Remember the dynamic that the LORD Jesus Christ
is in your life, involved in your life and relationships, and He desires
that you and your husband be one. So do not expect applause from anyone
but the LORD. Draw your motivation each day from the awesome love He has
for you and your husband.
God
is not unjust to forget your work and labor of love which you have shown
toward His name, in that you have ministered to the saints, and do minister.
And we desire that each one of you show the same diligence to the full
assurance of hope until the end, that you do not become sluggish, but imitate
those who through faith and patience inherit the promises. (Hebrews 6:10-12,
NKJV)
May God bless you with His wisdom and the courage to follow Jesus!
Randy Lariscy :-)
President - WordTruth Press℠
Copyright 3/12/2002, Randy Lariscy.
