Passionate Living

Commandment 10 - Align Your Desires With God

You shall not covet your neighbor's house. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor. (Exodus 20:17, NIV)

1. Understanding the commandment

The word "covet" is from the Hebrew “Chamad” – to desire earnestly, to long for, to lust after.

Note that unlike other commandments, it does not give a blanket “you shall not covet” because the emotions and affections associated with this word are not in themselves sinful. Rather, it is the degree and circumstances of the longing that make the difference:

“your neighbor’s house” – materialism (keeping up with the Jones)
“your neighbor’s wife” – sexual temptation
“your neighbor’s [servants] or anything that belongs to your neighbor – lust for wealth

Q: How can you desire a better home without being covetous?

Not desire to be better than others but to simply better yourself and your family.

Q: How can you desire a better wife without being covetous?

You can’t – marriage is a commitment to God, one man & one woman for life.
Look at what happened to King David and Bathsheba.

Q: How can you desire more wealth without being covetous?

Very hard – On the one hand, we must trust in God to provide for our needs but, on the other hand, that does not discount industry & ingenuity to work for something better.
Israelites were defeated at Ai even though God had given them the Land. The root of the problem was Achan’s sin of covetousness. God commanded no personal booty to be taken from Jericho but Achan took some things and hid them from the others:

20 Achan replied, "It is true! I have sinned against the LORD, the God of Israel. This is what I have done: 21 When I saw in the plunder a beautiful robe from Babylonia, two hundred shekels of silver and a wedge of gold weighing fifty shekels, I coveted them and took them. They are hidden in the ground inside my tent, with the silver underneath." (Joshua 7:20-21, NIV)

To covet is also the aspect of wanting what others have to their hurt or injury.

I want that promotion so that Bob will have to call me “Sir.”
I want my neighbor’s house so he can’t brag about having the biggest house in the neighborhood.

Q: So how do we state this commandment as a positive command?

Rather than ungodly desires for what others have that God does not want you to have (or have right now), you need to align your desires with God:

1 Do not fret because of evil men or be envious of those who do wrong; 2 for like the grass they will soon wither, like green plants they will soon die away. 3 Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. 4 Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart. 5 Commit your way to the LORD; trust in Him and he will do this: (Psalm 37:1-5, NIV)

If you delight yourself in the LORD and His ways, then His desires will become your desires and He will fulfill those godly desires. That is His promise – commit your way to Him and He will do this (v5).

2. Applying the commandment

How do we overcome those covetous desires that spring up? Let’s look at some examples in Scripture:

A. Cain and Abel:

2 …Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil. 3 In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the LORD. 4 But Abel brought fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The LORD looked with favor on Abel and his offering, 5 but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast.

6 Then the LORD said to Cain, "Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? 7 If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it."

8 Now Cain said to his brother Abel, "Let's go out to the field." [d] And while they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him. 9 Then the LORD said to Cain, "Where is your brother Abel?" "I don't know," he replied. "Am I my brother's keeper?" 10 The LORD said, "What have you done? Listen! Your brother's blood cries out to me from the ground. 11 Now you are under a curse and driven from the ground, which opened its mouth to receive your brother's blood from your hand. 12 When you work the ground, it will no longer yield its crops for you. You will be a restless wanderer on the earth." (Genesis 4:2-12, NIV)

Q: What was the covetous desire of Cain?

To be more righteous before God than his brother, Abel.
He saw the righteousness of Abel and he wanted it for himself instead of Abel.
Spiritual pride is a common problem in churches even today. Each person wants to be (or to appear) more spiritual than another. Those who are not covet the faith they see in others.

Q: How did God redirect Cain’s desires?

Look to the LORD and His righteous ways rather than looking at what your brother has. “If you do what is right that will be enough” (paraphrased).

Consider your attitude toward what others have versus what you have. Make sure your main concern is how you are following Jesus without regard to anyone else.

B. The Greatest Apostle

33 They came to Capernaum. When he was in the house, he asked them, "What were you arguing about on the road?" 34 But they kept quiet because on the way they had argued about who was the greatest. 35 Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, "If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all." 36 He took a little child and had him stand among them. Taking him in his arms, he said to them, 37 "Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me." (Mark 9:33-37, NIV)

Q: Why were the disciples afraid to answer Jesus’ question (v34)?

Their argument suggests they misunderstood who Jesus was and why He had come. They were thinking in terms of earthly kingdoms and Jesus as the earthly king.

Q: How did Jesus redirect their ungodly desires?

Emphasized their need to serve one another.
Emphasized the need to put others first.
Used the example of welcoming a child to make the point – when you put others first, you are really putting Jesus first because you follow His example.

Think hard about how you can consciously choose to serve another person this week to avoid the covetous desire to be better than others.

C. General Materialism:

1 What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? 2 You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. 3 When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. 4 You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. 5 Or do you think Scripture says without reason that the spirit he caused to live in us envies intensely? 6 But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." (James 4:1-6, NIV)

Q: Why is it that people do not have what they want?

Fighting others to get what you want rather than asking God for it.
Not asking God with righteous motives.

Q: How does God want to redirect our covetous desires?

Reminds us of how the Holy Spirit earnestly desires your heart.
Emphasizes humility before God to find grace to live with what you have and receive what you need.

Gore Vidal once said, “Every time my friend succeeds, I die a little more.” If you had the opportunity to respond to him, what would you say to Gore Vidal?

Align your desires with God and covetousness will never be an issue.