Romantic Love

"Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest, so is my beloved among the young men. In his shade I took great delight and sat down, and his fruit was sweet to my taste." Song of Songs 2:3-4

In beautiful prose, this unusual book in the Bible tells the romantic story of King Solomon and his courtship, wedding, and marriage to a young country girl from Shulam. It is poetry that is hard to follow at times and filled with similes and metaphors that had easily understood meaning 3,000 years ago. It takes some work to get the message from this book. But if you keep track of who is speaking, you find enormous insight into God's perspective on romantic, passionate love.

Some see this book symbolizing the relationship between God and His chosen people, Israel. Others see it pointing to the love relationship between Christ and His Church. These are certainly valid applications of the message in this book. The plain teaching from the Song of Solomon, however, is the love relationship between Solomon and his bride. Studying the book from this perspective will help you glean God's perspective on this vital topic for everyone. I am excited at what this book of the Bible has to say about romance -- and romance hasn't changed in 3,000 years!

Scripture Passage: Song of Solomon 1:1-2:6

Main Thought: Romantic love is not silent -- it whispers in the dark and shouts from the rooftop. Let your love for your mate be obvious to him or her as well as to the world.

Expressions of Desire
Edifying Delights
Earnest Dedication

1. Expressions of Desire

The young country girl makes no secret of her desire for Solomon. While sexual desire is certainly indicated, the bride to be makes known her desire for intimacy with him: "Draw me after you and let us run together! The king has brought me into his chambers (Song 1:4)." She also expresses a desire for closeness: "Tell me, O you whom my soul loves, where do you pasture your flock...(Song 1:7)." Her thoughts about him are frequent and pleasant: "My beloved is to me a pouch of myrrh which lies all night between my breasts (Song 1:13)." She spends a great deal of time complimenting Solomon. The point is that she expresses her feelings toward him using direct statements, metaphors, and vibrant word-pictures.

Expressing your feelings for your mate may be a bit difficult, particularly for men -- you know, the "strong, silent, John Wayne" type. One way to begin the process is to use word pictures. A word picture is like talking with your emotions. It describes your feelings in a way that engages the mind and emotions of the hearer. For instance, you could express affection to your spouse with, "Honey, when I'm close to you I feel like a little baby that just got tickled under his chin." You could express disappointment with, "When I talk to you about my job and you act disinterested, it makes me feel like the Publisher's Clearinghouse truck stopped at the house, the officials knocked on the door, and then I find out they are at the wrong house!" Word-pictures are powerful tools for expressing those deep, inner feelings.

If you want to romance your mate, begin verbalizing your feelings and compliment frequently! This will surely stoke the fires of romance.

2. Edifying Delights

The young country girl was more than intimidated in the King's court. She worried about her appearance: "Do not stare at me because I am swarthy [dark skinned], for the sun has burned me...(Song 1:6)." Solomon spends no time refuting this -- he simply reassures her of how he feels: "How beautiful you are, my darling, how beautiful you are! Your eyes are like doves (Song 1:15)." Solomon had no trouble expressing his feelings! His words began to build up the self-image of the young country girl in the royal court. She states with passion, "I am a rose of Sharon, a lily of the valleys." (Song 2:1) Solomon affirms her loveliness with another word-picture, "Like a lily among thorns is my darling among the maidens." (Song 2:2) As you can see, the words spoken by Solomon were not mere flattery but warm, genuine reflections of how Solomon felt about her.

Throughout their courtship and marriage, the words Solomon spoke were consistently "edifying" -- that is, he spoke words intended to build her up, to lift her up and over her feelings of inadequacy and insecurity with who she was. This is an extremely common problem for many women today. Society expects women to be all things to all people. As a result, many women despair with feelings of worthlessness. Solomon recognized this in his future bride and used specially chosen, heart-felt words to restore her proper self-image.

True love builds up rather than tearing down. The words we speak to our mate privately are extremely important in building up self-esteem, warmth, and security in our mate. This is an essential building block for romance. If your mate has feelings of inadequacy, be careful not to deny your mate's feelings. Rather, overcome them with patient, reassuring words. Let your "beloved" know how special you think he or she is. The timbers in the fire of your romance will begin to glow.

3. Earnest Dedication

In Song of Solomon 2:3-6, the young country girl declares three essentials for romance which she finds, of course, in her beloved Solomon:

"In his shade" denotes companionship.

"sweet to my taste" denotes private intimacy.

"his banner over me is love" denotes public affirmation.

Romance actually starts with friendship. The future bride simply enjoyed being in his presence. They loved being in one another's company. Their companionship was something to be cherished. Also, romance needs private intimacy. A couple needs time alone to learn to relate to one another, to understand each other's needs, and to exchange private words of love. But romance also demands public affirmation. Solomon's feelings for this country girl are summed up when she states: "His banner over me is love (Song 2:4)." Solomon was never afraid to show his love for her -- even in the banquet hall where the king received officials and heads-of-state. He publicly showed his love for her.

Men, do you talk to your wife when she calls you at work? Do you tell her you love her? Do you hold her hand as you walk?

Ladies, do you express confidence in your husband publicly? Do you respond to his leadership, praise his hard work, and let others know about it?

Little things like this go a long way in romance. Romance demands a demonstration -- it may seem unnecessary to you but love is like this. So never be afraid to let others know that you love your mate. Say the words out loud, "I love you", hold hands as you walk, and kiss your mate before you part. Let your banner wave "I love you" at all times.

Reflect on YOUR life: True love starts with romance -- but romance does not end there. Public displays and private exchanges are both important to keep romance alive. Let it be obvious to all!

"His banner over me is love! (Song of Songs 2:4)"