How to Win Friends and Influence People

Scripture Passage: Romans 14 & 15

Many a book promises the magic secrets of manipulating people and events so that you get what you want when you want it. In many of these books the "secrets" are nothing more than attempts to dehumanize individuals. Treat them like objects with certain pre-programmed responses and you can get them to buy anything or do anything. The Biblical stand on this is clear: men and women are created in God's image. He made each and every one of us unique and special. The Apostle Paul expounds on the "six C's" of how to treat other people and build stronger relationships. His command is clear: "Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification" (Romans 14:19, NIV).

Main Thought: Because each person is created in God's image, each person needs to be cared for with godly compassion and respect.

Conviction
Conscience
Conciliation
Consideration
Compassion
Concurrence

1. Conviction

One man considers one day more sacred than another; another man considers every day alike.Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind (14:5, NIV).

One of the great needs of today is a passion for whatever we do. We need to be firmly convinced that how we are treating another is right and acceptable to the Lord. This requires close communion with our "Wonderful Counselor".:

2. Conscience

Blessed is the man who does not condemn himself by what he approves. ...everything that does not come from faith is sin (14:22b,23, NIV).

For the believer under grace, a clear conscience about what is right and a conviction from the Lord Jesus is a powerful motivator. Woe be unto the child of God who ignores these. If it is not the result of our faith it is sin!

3. Conciliation

Accept him whose faith is weak without passing judgement on disputable matters (Romans 14:1, NIV).

Your primary way of dealing with another should be a continual act of reconciling yourself to him (or her). Don't get hung up on trivial matters such as what one eats or how one dresses. Receive them as Christ received you.

4. Consideration

If your brother is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love (Romans 14:15, NIV).

Act in kindness and out of respect for the other person's feelings. Gently build them up and draw them closer to you. This requires humility - considering others and their needs as more important than your own.

5. Compassion.

"We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak...Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up (15:1,2, NIV).

As parents we exercise this concept with our children every day. Why should we treat our spouses, our neighbors, our work associates, our bosses, or our enemies any differently? Start a new trend - show compassion for all.

6. Concurrence.

May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ (15:5-6, NIV).

Let each of us have this as our goal for fellowship in the body of Christ - to build a spirit of unity, a spiritual safety net and a practical support group for our day-to-day needs. Join together and let us worship the Lord with one heart and mouth.

Reflect on YOUR life: What attitude dominates your relationship with someone you know well and like? What behaviors go along with that relationship? Begin by putting these into practice with those who are less desirable to you, less friendly toward you, or even downright hostile! You will be amazed at how God works in your relationships as you treat people with godly care. Sow the seeds of care and compassion with others and see if you do not reap a bounty of deep friendships.