The Pastor: Qualified For Conflict

The Pastor: Qualified For Conflict

As the New Testament unfolds the development of the local church, it defines a highly esteemed position to oversee that assembly: the pastor. The noble role of pastor is described as a "good work" (1 Tim. 3:1, NKJV). It is a position of great responsibility with commensurate qualifications in the area of skills and character. Membership in the local assembly, however, is open to all who profess faith in the LORD Jesus Christ. This means that there will be a diverse group of people in the local church in terms of their knowledge, maturity, and commitment to Christ. Conflict is a certainty. Difficult people will emerge to disrupt or oppose the ministry of the local church. Certainly this makes the job of pastor a challenging assignment. Do the qualifications for the role of pastor somehow prepare him for this challenge? The answer from even a brief study of Scripture will reveal a resounding yes! God foresaw the difficulties and difficult people a pastor would have to lead. As a result, He established the qualifications necessary for an effective pastor.

The biblical qualifications for pastor are first of all mandatory. Various New Testament passages (1 Tim. 3:1-7; Titus 1:5-9; 1 Pet. 5:2-4) present these qualifications. In the 1 Timothy 3 passage, the Apostle Paul uses straightforward language regarding one who would serve as pastor: "A bishop must be …" (1 Tim. 3:1, NKJV, emphasis mine). As the overseer of the local church, the pastor assumes great responsibilities in the care and feeding of God's children who meet there (Acts 20:28). The pastor influences the eternal destiny of every person in the church, either directly through the pulpit or indirectly through the people he disciples. This is what creates the need for such high standards. Yet the role is not obligatory; the Apostle Peter reveals that the pastor should serve "because you are willing, as God wants you to be" (1 Pet. 5:2, NIV). One who would be pastor serves as a willing vessel in God’s hands to impact the lives of people.

A pastor stands as the man of God before the local church. The Bible, therefore, raises a daunting list of character attributes including:

Character must be above reproach, obvious to all (1 Tim. 3:2).
Lawfully married (in terms of Biblical requirements) to one woman (1 Tim. 3:2).
Exercises self-control (1 Tim. 3:2).
Good behavior -- thought of as a good person (1 Tim. 3:2).
Abstains from alcoholic beverages (1 Tim. 3:3) as contrasted with the deacon who is not given to "much wine" (1 Tim. 3:8) -- a warning against drunkenness.
Not a violent person, not strongly reactive to bad circumstances or personal attacks (1 Tim. 3:3).
Ministering for the LORD not for money (1 Tim. 3:3).
A gentle-man, a soft touch with people (1 Tim. 3:3).
Uncontentious with others (1 Tim. 3:3).
Content with what he has, does not covet what others have (1 Tim. 3:3).
A good husband and father with obedient children (1 Tim. 3:4).
Not a recent convert to Christianity lest he get become prideful of his position (1 Tim. 3:6).
Character and conduct which outsiders generally acknowledge as good (1 Tim. 3:7).
Not self-willed but one who continually seeks God's will in all of life's decisions (Titus 1:7).
One who loves what is good (Titus 1:8).
Just in his dealings with himself and others (Titus 1:8).
Holy because God is holy (Titus 1:8).
Holding firmly to the Word of God which he has been taught (Titus 1:9).

With these qualifications, the pastor will face a variety of challenging people in his ministry. Marshall Shelley in his book, Well-Intentioned Dragons, enumerates a list of difficult people which will be useful for discussion. In this paper time will not permit a comprehensive treatment of all the types of difficult people. Instead, five typical types of difficult people will be examined – bird dog, wet blanket, Captain Bluster, sniper, and legalist -- along with an analysis of how the specific qualifications prepare the pastor to deal with each personality type.

The "bird dog"is the pastor’s eyes and ears in the ministry. This difficult person points out problems in other people’s lives or in the church program. Often, such a person fails to see his own problems; he uses such tactics to divert attention away from his own shortcomings. Since one cannot keep such people silent, how is the pastor prepared for this conflict?

An effective pastor will be "gentle" (1 Tim. 3:3), even a gentleman, in his dealings with all people. He knows the soft touch needed to relate to people and their problems. He will also be "just" (Titus 1:8) in his dealings with people. He will not use the bird dog to spy and tattle on his members. Yet if a sin pointed out by a bird dog is obvious, the effective pastor will exercise appropriate discipline privately or, if necessary, publicly. The example of an effective pastor cannot be ignored either. He models the behavior that the congregation will follow as a pattern – whether he likes it or not. If he is "not quarrelsome" (1 Tim. 3:3), he will be uncontentious with other people. This is a behavior pattern that the bird dog needs to follow. Also, being "blameless" or "above reproach" (1 Tim. 3:2), the pastor will not spread such gossip around. He will certainly counsel and exhort the bird dog to do the same.

The "wet blanket" has a negative attitude toward any change in procedure, style, or program. An attitude of "it can’t be done" or "we’ve tried it before and it didn’t work" is common with such difficult people. How do the biblical qualifications address this type of conflict?

The effective pastor "loves what is good" (Titus 1:8) and is not self-willed but one who continually seeks God’s will in all of life’s decisions, including the ministry of the church (Titus 1:7). As such, the pastor will promote the kinds of changes needed to help the church grow in maturity and breadth of ministry. Yet he will certainly encounter those "wet blankets" who resist any changes, even those that are obviously good. In dealing with this conflict, the pastor will have to exercise his shepherding skills (1 Pet. 5:2-4) to lead the flock along the way they should go whether or not it is the way they want to go. He will deal justly with those who oppose him (Titus 1:8) but, because of his love for what is good, he will continue to find ways to move the congregation as a whole along the God-given path. As the congregation matures, they will find it easier to follow the pastor’s lead, knowing that God is leading the pastor.

Another common difficult person is Captain Bluster. This person has the "I’m right, you’re wrong" attitude. Every situation is a win-lose proposition that always seems to rise to the level of life or death. Some people enjoy a good fight. Captain Bluster only loves a fight when he wins. Winning includes the task to be done, how it is carried out, and who will do what. Every situation is seen as a "win-lose" proposition. The effective pastor will weather these conflicts first of all because he is blameless (1 Tim. 3:2). Captain Bluster will have nothing tangible to lay hold of in battling the pastor. He may invent things along the way. But such folly will be obvious in time. The pastor will also be uncontentious with others (Titus 1:9). This does not mean he avoids conflict with difficult people. He chooses to teach rather than quarrel. The pastor will not become embittered toward his adversary because of his love for people and forgiving spirit. He will focus on the real needs rather than his position or Captain Bluster’s demands. When opposition reacts strongly to the pastor in a "win-lose" scenario, the pastor will hold firmly to the sure Word of God which applies to that situation. Many a pastor has lost his job at the hands of a Captain Bluster. This is an unfortunate but highly likely outcome of such encounters when such a person is highly influential in the church. But as the proverb goes, "though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again" (Prov. 24:16, NIV). The effective pastor will continue with the respect of God who called him.

The sniper is that difficult person who is nice to the pastor in person but attacks him in front of other people. His attacks tend to criticize the pastor’s character as much as his performance. The sniper creates an ugly rumor mill which will undermine the authority and leadership capability of the pastor. How is the effective pastor equipped to deal with such a person?

The first character trait revealed when the pastor is attacked in this way is temperance or self-control (1 Tim. 3:2; Titus 1:7). The pastor will not be quick to attack with vengeance. Instead, he will temper his anger with rational consideration of the rumor. Is any part of the rumor true? If so, then repentance is in order. Integrity demands that the pastor freely admit any part of rumor that is true. Yet it is important that the truth be proclaimed. If the pastor allows the rumor to go unchecked, the lie will prevail. Since the effective pastor will be both just and holy (Titus 1:8) in all his dealings with people, he will be sure to confront the individuals involved with the truth. Scripture reinforces the importance that the pastor not be "quick-tempered" or "violent" (1 Tim. 3:3; Titus 1:7) but remain "temperate, sober-minded, of good behavior" (1 Tim. 3:2; Titus 1:8), as well as "self-controlled" (Titus 1:8). This repetition emphasizes how critical it is that the pastor remain calm and focused not matter how "hot" the situation becomes. A pastor who controls his emotions and uses the mind of Christ (Phil. 2:5; Col. 3:16) will successfully deal with the sniper’s ugly rumors. The sniper may or may not end his attacks. Yet the pastor who stands firm with these character qualities should be able to overcome the difficulties created by the sniper.

The legalist has a list of absolutes that has no end. This firm conviction of how things must be is compounded by a "God is on my side" attitude. Such difficult people cause much grief to the pastor. No cause is too small for the legalist crusader. Is a pastor prepared to handle such a problem?

Two qualifications specifically deal with the problem of the legalist. First, the effective pastor will be one who is patient with people (2 Tim. 2:24). He will not be quick to dismiss the legalist for quite often there is a bit of merit to the issue raised. Second, the effective pastor will be able to teach people what the Word of God says, what it means, and how it applies to the specific situation pointed out by the legalist (1 Tim. 3:2). His teaching will be persuasive since he not only exhorts but convicts those who contradict him (Titus 1:9). The pastor will exercise genuine humility toward the legalist in the hopes that God will guide them to a knowledge and acceptance of the truth (2 Tim. 2:25).

Much of the heartache caused by difficult people can be prevented if the pastor is indeed "blameless" as called for in Scripture. The pastor will never be able to eliminate difficult people no matter how sterling his character. But with the qualifications as presented in Scripture, any pastor can effectively neutralize the battles by maintaining a solid foundation in his life and ministry.