Christian Marriage

Scripture: 1 Peter 3:1-7
The Bible tells us about the beauty of a Christian marriage. One man and one woman joined together as one life. Marriage is a precious gift from God, given to us from the very beginning of time: “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24, NIV). A Christian marriage is the key to a stable society. It the place where children are to be born, to be raised with love, and to be taught about God and His word.
For those of you who are already married, this message will provide you with good instruction in how to relate to your mate. Our Scripture passage first addresses the wife, and then the husband. For those of you who are not yet married, this message is for you also. Young people, you need to understand how to have a good marriage someday. God may have a plan for you to get married one day. Even if you never marry, applying these principles will help you relate to others in a God-honoring way.
Main Point: Christ’s example of submission in life changes how we relate to one another, especially in marriage.
Outline:

Christ’s example of submission changes the way a woman relates to her husband in marriage:

A. A Christian wife is to respect her husband’s role as the spiritual leader in the family.
(1) What does it mean that the wife should submit to the husband?
(2)How can the Christian wife submit to a husband who is not a godly man?
B. A Christian wife should concentrate more on inner beauty than on outer beauty.
(1) The true beauty of a wife is not how she looks on the outside.
(2) The true beauty of a wife is revealed from the inside-out -- through her good character.
C. A Christian wife will need courage to be submissive.
Christ’s example of submission changes the way a man relates to his wife in marriage:

A. A Christian husband works at understanding the needs of his wife.
B. A Christian husband is to treasure his wife with gentleness.
C. A Christian husband who neglects his wife prays empty prayers.
Conclusion

1. Christ’s example of submission changes the way a woman relates to her husband in marriage:
Jesus did what was good in the sight of our Heavenly Father. Yet His good deeds brought persecution from His enemies. The Bible tells us that when our LORD was persecuted, He did not take revenge. When our LORD suffered injustice, He did not make threats. Jesus let His good character put His enemies to shame. So the life of Jesus is an example to us in how to submit to God’s will. No matter what happens, God has complete authority over your life. And so your faith is a matter of submitting to God’s will.

A. A Christian wife is to respect her husband’s role as the spiritual leader in the family.

Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. (1 Pet. 3:1-2, NIV)
Jesus prayed to the Father, “Your will be done” (Matt. 26:42, NIV). He only did (John 8:28, 12:50, 14:24) and said (John 5:19, 14:10-11, 14:31) what the Father in Heaven commanded. Jesus respected the Father and His will.
(1) What does it mean that the wife should submit to the husband?
In our Scripture verse, wives are told to be submissive to their husbands "in the same way" as our LORD Jesus Christ. The term "be submissive" in the original language was a military term. It was used of a soldier who responded to the authority of his leader. A soldier shows respect for his leader. The soldier arranges his life according to the leadership he is given. The wife submits to her husband by responding to his leadership. A wife who tries to rule over her husband is not submissive. God has assigned the husband as the spiritual leader in the marriage (Eph. 5:25-27). And the husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the Church (Eph. 5:25).
A submissive wife does NOT mean that the husband can be a dictator in the home. The submissive wife is NOT a slave to the husband. Neither is the wife inferior to the husband because she is submissive. Both husband and wife are equals in the site of God (Gal. 3:28; Gen. 1:27). Both husband and wife deserve respect and are in great need of love.
The main reason for this command is so that there will be peace and order in the home. So the wife is commanded to show respect for her loving husband.

(2)How can the Christian wife submit to a husband who is not a godly man?
That is a good question. Verse 1 says that the wife should live a God-honoring life. Verse 2 says that the wife should pursue "purity and reverence" (1 Pet. 3:2, NIV). So the Christian wife submits to her husband by following Christ. Note that the husband has no authority to tell his wife to disobey God. If the husband tells his wife to sin against God, the wife must respectfully refuse.
The wife who honors God with her life will have a strong impact on her husband. Even ungodly husbands, the Bible says, may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives" (1 Pet. 3:1, NIV). Someone once said, “Preach the gospel of Jesus Christ. If necessary, use words.” Wives, do not constantly scold your husband. Let your own conduct honor God. Your good behavior will speak much louder than your lips.

B. A Christian wife should concentrate more on inner beauty than on outer beauty.

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands. (1 Pet. 3:3-5, NIV)
Jesus was a beautiful person. But He was not beautiful on the outside. The Bible says of Jesus that there was “nothing in His appearance that we should desire Him” (Isa. 53:2, NIV). Jesus’ beauty came from the inside -- His good character and remarkable love.
(1) The true beauty of a wife is not how she looks on the outside.
The Bible measures the true beauty of a wife by the way she responds to her husband’s leadership. The beauty of a woman’s appearance means nothing, if her life dishonors God. God sees true beauty in the love and good character of a wife. Do not think this Scripture teaches women to dress only in plain clothes:

It is acceptable for a woman to wear jewelry and nice clothes.

It is acceptable for a woman to use cosmetics on her face.

It is acceptable for a woman to fix her hair in different styles.

The problem is only when the wife is MORE interested in jewelry and fine clothes than in following Christ. Beauty starts on the inside – her character. That is to be the main focus. Consider the worm that wants to turn into a butterfly. The worm could buy some beautiful wings and strap them on its back. But it would still be a worm. To be a butterfly, the worm must change from the inside out.
(2) The true beauty of a wife is revealed from the inside-out -- through her good character.
These verses tell us that the wife becomes beautiful to God as she submits to her husband (1 Pet. 3:5). The wife builds a good character as she:

Has a good attitude toward her husband.

Let him know that she respects him.

Encourages him to be the spiritual leader in the family.

Helps him to make good decisions.

Maintains peace in her own life.

Pursues spiritual growth with her husband.

These are all things a Christian wife can do to build her character from the inside first. Such a wife will become beautiful to God and to her husband.
C. A Christian wife will need courage to be submissive.

...like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. (1 Pet. 3:6, NIV)
Jesus knew the Father’s will was that He offer His life on the cross for our sins. To do the Father’s will took great courage, even for Jesus. So the Bible says that Jesus “entrusted Himself to Him who judges justly” (1 Pet. 2:23, NIV).
Our Scripture says that the wife should “not give way to fear” (1 Pet. 3:6, NIV). The wife needs courage to be submissive.

A husband may be unkind.

A husband may be demanding.

A husband may not allow the wife to do things that she wants to do.

These can all bring fear to the wife. The Bible uses the example of Sarah and Abraham. Abraham was called by God to leave his home and begin a journey (Gen. 12:1-4). Abraham did not know exactly where God would lead him. Imagine your husband comes home from work and exclaims, “Wife, we are leaving home tonight! I do not know where we are going or when we will get there.” That would be quite fearful!
Yet Sarah obeyed Abraham in this. She took courage in doing what was right in God’s sight even though it was frightening to her. She entrusted her life to God. Courage is what the wife needs to submit to your husband. The will of God for your life stands. Part of God’s will is for the wife to respect and follow the leadership of your husband. Remember these good words from the Bible: “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear” (1 John 4:18, NIV). Take courage in God’s perfect love for you and perfect will for your life.

2. Christ’s example of submission changes the way a man relates to his wife in marriage:

Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. (1 Pet. 3:7, NIV)
The husband is commanded to be considerate to his wife "in the same way" -- this refers back to the life of Jesus Christ. In the same way that Jesus humbled himself to the will of the Father, the husband is to humble himself to the will of God in loving his wife.
A. A Christian husband works at understanding the needs of his wife.
Our LORD Jesus Christ understands our needs. He became human so that He could meet our greatest need. Our sin required that Jesus offer Himself as a sacrifice to pay the penalty for our sin.
Husbands are commanded first to "be considerate" (1 Pet. 3:7, NIV). In the original language, this word meant to seek understanding. Husbands are to work at understanding your wife. Now what man can ever understand what a woman wants? Many jokes have been told about how men just cannot understand women. Yet the LORD commands it.
The LORD never commands us to do anything that He will not help us to do. So, husbands, you must work at understanding the needs of your wife. Like a good detective, you will have to observe her life carefully to find out her true needs. This verse says, "as you live with your wives" (1 Pet. 3:7, NIV). If you are never home, always working or playing, you will not be able to know what your wife needs.
A good detective also listens carefully. Be a good detective by listening to what she says and what she does not say. Don’t try to solve her problems for her but actively listen. When you know her needs, love her by meeting those needs. Often we try to love people the way we personally want to be loved. Be considerate by meeting her needs.

B. A Christian husband is to treasure his wife with gentleness.

Husbands, … treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life... (1 Pet. 3:7, NIV)
Our LORD Jesus Christ loved you so much that He was willing to sacrifice Himself for you (1 Pet. 2:21,24). You are of great worth to Him (Matthew 6:26), like a treasure. Likewise, the husband is to treat his wife as he would a great treasure. The Bible says, “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies” (Prov. 31:10, NIV). And, “A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown” (Prov. 12.4, NIV). A great treasure is never neglected. A great treasure is something of great worth, something you love and protect.
A wife is of great worth to her husband. So you are to "treat them with respect" (1 Pet. 3:7, NIV). This Scripture verse says that both husband and wife are "heirs" of eternal life. By trusting in the LORD Jesus Christ, both husband and wife inherit eternal rewards in Heaven. Treasure your Christian wife as one who has received the approval of God Himself.
The wife is also a "weaker partner" (1 Pet. 3:7, NIV). This phrase means the wife is like a beautiful flower -- delicate and fragile. You must hold on to a flower with gentleness. If you are rough with a flower, it will be crushed. Husbands, be sure you tell your wife how much you value her. Be specific in the ways that she is of value – focus on her character, her inner beauty. But do not stop with just telling her these things. Your marriage will be strengthened every time you show her that you esteem her highly. Your mutual love will grow as you relate to her with gentleness.
C. A Christian husband who neglects his wife prays empty prayers.

Husbands … so that nothing will hinder your prayers. (1 Pet. 3:7, NIV)
When Jesus prayed, He was heard by the Father in Heaven. The Father always heard and answered the prayers of Jesus (John 11:41-42). This was because Jesus followed the will of God for His life and ministry.
The Christian husband is to love his wife just as Christ loves him. If you want your prayers to be answered, you must. After commanding the husband to be considerate and to treasure his wife, the Bible warns that failure to do so will cause your prayers to be hindered. What father would fail to respond to the cries of his children? Likewise, our Heavenly Father wants to answer the prayers of His children. But if you are rebellious toward God, your prayers will not be heard. I know of no man, no husband that would ever want his prayers to be empty. Sometimes, your prayers are hindered because you are not loving your wife as Christ loves you – unselfishly and completely.
A loving relationship is the primary responsibility of the husband. As the husband:

You are to motivate love in your marriage and family.

You are to maintain a loving relationship with your wife.

You are also responsible for the growth of love in your marriage.

As you truly seek to love your wife, following God’s will for your marriage, God will hear your prayers. The promise of God for our prayers is this:
This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him. (1 John 5:14-15, NIV)

Conclusion
Christ’s example of submission to the Father’s will changes how we relate to one another, especially in marriage. Because Jesus Christ gave Himself up for us, He left us an example to follow. This applies to marriage but also to any relationship:

Respecting the position of another person is something that applies to all our relationships.

Building a character inside that helps others will enhance your beauty to anyone who knows you.

Seeking to understand the needs of others and meet them as best you can applies to family, friends, and even strangers in your life.

Treasuring others as people of great value to God will strengthen any friendship.

That is the wonder of God’s word. His timeless truth is specific to situations, like marriage. His timeless truth can also be applied to many other situations in life. Let us thank the LORD right now for the teaching from His word. Let us commit ourselves to following His will as He leads.

Our Creator God loves you and wants you to know Him! If you would like to contact this ministry for further information or questions, please send your e-mail to:
Email: ministryrequest1@WordTruth.Com
Web Site: WordTruth.Com
Copyright 11/10/2001, Randy Lariscy.